itsachat Writers Ave

July 28, 2008 – Emo Diaries – Downtown

So, feeling pretty pissed off, but sort of mellow because I had smoked that joint in the park, I took my emo ass to the bus stop and headed downtown. The bus driver stared at me when I got on the bus and I stuck my tongue out at him. Oh, how I love to shock people. While on the bus, I plastered on some more black eyeliner. I didn’t have a mirror so I stood by the back door and used the driver’s rear view mirror to apply my gunk. I was just in a mood to dare him to say something to me, but he didn’t.
I get down town, looking as close to marilyn manson as I possibly could make myself look and head to GreenGrass Mall. This is the baddest mall in town. They close the stores at 6:00 pm here because they are scared of us kids. We hold that much power, we really do. Anyways, I get to greengrass and look for akasha. That’s not her real name, but its her Emo name and she refuses to let anyone call her Theresa because she hates that name. I personally don’t mind it, but to each his own. I find her by the fountain, and she is talking to his other emo guy we know called scraps. This kid is named this not because he fights, but because he eats every ones scraps. Scraps is asking Aka for some scraps, go figure; she was eating some new york French fries. (Like she needs those, she has the worst acne!) Anyway, I get to them and immediately go into my story of why I am fukin spike less.
They pretend to be interested, the now fed scraps takes off to look for a way to get some weed (I wasn’t telling him I had any) and me and aka decide to head out side of the mall, where there is a garbage can area that we use to roll and smoke weed at. On our way there, we run into this packy guy. He’s all decked out in his turban and is probably about 50 years old. For me, it’s hard to tell with those people, what their ages are. This guy stops us and says, “Do you smoke?” Aka says, smoke what? And she looks at me and gives me that look that says *we can take this guy for a ride, lets play* Japinder says (lands up his name is japinder) Smoke hash. Do you girls want to smoke some hash. Naturally Aka says, Damn straight dude, lets go.
Aka and I walk with him to his car (which was located in the underground parking lot of the greengrass) It was a nice car, don’t really know what kind it was, but it smelled new and was black with black leather seats in side. Aka was chatting him up, I wasn’t really paying attention. I was more or less watching where he was driving us, in case something funky was going to go down. Even though I didn’t have my spikes, I knew that aka had hers, and she also carried about a scimitar with her, and she wasn’t afraid to use it.
Japinder takes us to his house in some fancy neighbourhood about a 20 minute drive from the mall. We go inside, and he pulls out the hash pipe. Aka asks him where the booze is and he pulls that out too.
Since I am on this justice thing, I can’t drink so I just pretend to pour some rye into my coke, but really I am drinking just plain coke. Aka and Jap are drinking for real, and I watch as they get wasted. I know the routine is that aka will start up with japinder, and once she has him occupied (with her sexual act) that’s when I can go through the house and rob him. This is exactly what happened. There was akasha, getting it on with this gross, greasy old man, and I went to his room. He had just over a thousand in his top drawer of this dresser, as well as a bunch of really odd coins. I took it all. There was some jewellery, but nothing good so I left that. When I went back to the livingroom, they were both passed out naked on the couch. I woke up aka and said, lets get out of here. She had gross hickies all over her neck and chest I pointed and said Ewwwwwwwwwww. She laughed and we left. The whole problem was that it was 4 oclock in the morning, and my curfew was at 9pm. I was in real crap now, and had to think of a good story, or otherwise I was going back to the slammer.
We walked to the closest pay phone and called a cab. The cab took us to Aka’s house where we split up the take. Aka had managed to steal a chunk of hash from the old perv as well and was nice enough to split that with me. That’s what I like about Aka, she’s always so fair about the splits. I am not that stupid to not realize she didn’t have to tell me she had the hash at all. I didn’t see when or how she got it, but she seen me go into the bedroom to rob him, so there you have it. She is an honest person.
Together we thought about a story that I could tell. We came up with, one of my friends had tried to commit suicide and I had to take them to the hospital and that is where I was all night. It was a long shot, but it was all I had. I figured going back there in the morning would be a good time, showing up at 5am wasn’t going to be cool, so Aka and I crashed out and I woke up at 9am and went back to the house to face the wrath.
When I got there, they were surprisingly nice. I just knew that they were worried that I was going to do something stupid because of my missing spikes, and seemed genuinely happy that I was there and that I was safe. I told them the story that I had concocted and all they said was, I wish you would have called, we were worried. There were no threats of “im calling your PO and having you breached” or anything like that. I thought everything was going well, until the cops showed up at the door a few hours later.
Here those bastards come, with news that aka and I had robbed this packy at knifepoint. Off I go to the hooskow again. Thank God I was smart enough to stash my take out side. Since they had no proof of anything, I was charged and released, and f******kin’ Grounded until court.
I am swearing that I wasn’t there. I was at the hospital, remember? Damn it. Now I needed a hospital alibi, and I prayed like f******k that one of my f******ked up emo friends was in the trauma center that night. There was a good chance of this, because I really am at the hospital at least once a week cuz of an emo attack of some kind. Either my own, or one of my friends. We really do need a lot of attention, and you can get that at the hospitals. They are really caring and nice there.
I havnt talked to aka yet to find out what the hell had happened after I left. All I know is that, Aka is also only 16 and that perverted old f******k better not think he’s getting away with this! Just another day in the life of an Emo.

July 27, 2008

Ive been grounded off the computer for a few days so I wasn’t able to write in my emo diary blog. Sorry Emo Fans! Yah right, what am I thinking, Im a freaken emo, im pretty sure no one is reading this garbage. And that is exactly what my life has become, total and complete utter trash. This meeting with the supervisor; OMG! This was all about those ass holes wanting to take away my spike collars. How dare them! That is my signature, my mark, my style, even the dog is jealous when he sees my collar (my collar spikes are longer and look more dangerous than the dogs do, it’s jealous I know it is). I flat out told them they could go f******k themselves; no one is getting my spikes. This worker has the nerve to tell me that its either the spikes or I can go back to lock up. Then she smiles and says “maybe they will let you keep your spikes there.” Oh, I could have strangled her. Why did they let me keep my spikes all this time (4 weeks) and suddenly now I have to go spikeless? I’ll tell you why. It’s because that rat worker heard me say I was going to spike my ex in the head with my spikes. Damn them. I wasn’t really going to do it. I was just mad and saying that.

The tears started flowing down my blackened cheeks (I was in full make-up even though I was told to “take my costume off” I only took off my torn up clothes, and put on some “normal” clothes). Those workers just looked at me all sad like. If I could make them as sad as me, maybe I could keep my spikes. I figured I could try to manipulate some money out of them. I needed to up my weed supply. I continued my crying (I am emo you know, tears comes easy to me) It’s not fair that you are taking my spikes. I bought these spikes with my own money (it was really money I made quickly during a 1 time hook up for a pound deal, but they didn’t know this). Those are my spikes, my spikes, my spikes. I started screaming and getting all hysterical. The workers just looked at me blankly. One of them started laughing and asked me if I was insane. I said, Yeah, that maybe I was. She says, all the more reason for us to take your spikes away; keep it up. Geez. That one is kinda tough, so I focused on the other one.

Ok, I said, I’ll give you my spikes, but you are going to give me 100 dollars for them! That’s how much I paid. AND I yelled with great authority. You will make the cheque out in my name. I felt a rush of power as she looked at me and said, Sure Emo. Okay, she didn’t say emo, but I know she thought it. Sure Emo, she goes. I’ll see what I can do. Maybe you can buy some blunted plugs to replace the spikes in your collar, she says with sarcasm. I’ll do whatever the f******k I want with the money, I’ll buy new leather things that you f******kers wont call a weapon and I better be getting my spikes back when my court crap is done with. She went on again about violence and what not. Told me the cheque will NOT be in my name because I am a freaken emo loser with no identification or bank account to be able to cash it, and also, that they would be taking me shopping for my plugs. All I could think was.. they are taking away my spikes and giving me plugs instead. f******kin’ plugs! Oh, the friends I don’t have are going to laugh, I just know it.
So, finally, (I was really aching to go for a walk and blast one) I tore off my spikes and threw them on the floor, stormed to my room, screamed into my pillow, then came out with my weed tucked safely in my sock, and told them I was off for a walk.
I went to the park, smoked a joint and sat there contemplating what I would use the money for. I would only need to spend half of it on weed, so that would leave me half. I could steal some lame ass bracelets and pretend I bought them; they have nott been asking me for receipts those dumb f******kers. I decided I would even buy something for my boyfriend. Well, not really my boyfriend. He is just sort of my boyfriend. Today he is my boyfriend except he wont sleep with me, but that’s another story.

Well, after I got wasted and was satisfied what I would do with the money, I headed downtown to see what kind of trouble I could get in.

This is when I got grounded, and grounded off the computer as well. Oh, the life of an Emo. It’s not easy!

The Dark Knight – Movie Review

This movie takes off where Batman Begins left. If you did not see Begins, I highly recommend you do before seeing this awesome sequel.

Clearly the best bat man movie made to date. Forget about the first 4 Batman’s – Heath Ledger’s Joker makes Nicholson’s Joker look just like that – a joke. I was convinced Health was truly insane, a real wacko, and the fact that he has committed suicide since really adds to this theory. Imagine, getting to see that insanity live on film – you see it here. The most insane character yet. Well done Heath.

Of course Christian Bale has developed the dark knight character into a Batman that is believable, accompanied by Michael Caine as Alfred, and Morgan Freeman as Mr. Fox, Bruce Wayne’s “tech” guy. Fox makes MI6’s Q look like Barney with a chemistry set by the way – this team seems unstoppable.

An excellent beginning with a fresh look at a bank robbery that I believe has rarely been done on film. Here we have a group of bad buys, wearing clown masks. Yes, you guessed it, these would be the Joker’s men. They bust into a major bank, there are about 6 of them. Clown number 2 finishes his specialty job (perhaps it was dis-arming the alarms) and Clown number 1 immediately shoots him in the back of the head. He carries on and meets up with the rest of the clowns. Once the safe is opened, Clown #4 turns around and there is clown #2 who says, thanks for a job well done, the boss sends this message – and he shoots that clown dead. Carrying on with the robbery, the theme now seems to be once the job is done, the clown who has completed the job gets whacked. The next clown that gets whacked even makes a comment about the previous dead clown; something along the lines of “oh well, that just leaves more of a split for us.” What made him think he wasn’t going to get wacked too I don’t know, just naïve I guess.

Now that they have the money, there are only 2 clowns left. Number two clown is looking at the bags and says, “if the boss was so smart, he would have hired a bus to haul this cash away.” The last clown turns around and clown number 2 has his gun on him. He says, “I guess the boss told you to shoot me, once I had killed the rest eh?” the last clown says, “No, Im supposed to shoot the bus driver.” Clown number 2 says, “What bus driver?” and that is when a bus crashes through the building wall and final destinations clown number 2. The doors burst open and there is the bus driver. The last clown shoots him, loads up the money and splits from the job by himself. As he leaves in the bus, he gets in line with a row of other buses blending in nicely while the gotham city police drive to the crime scene unsuspecting of the busses. Meet the Joker. There is no fake chemicalized make up job like that of Nicholson’s joker. This joker ran into an emo and borrowed its make-up. It does have smiley scars on the sides of his face, and several different stories through out the movie as to how he came to have them. A real marilyn manson kind of look that works well, especially coupled with the fabulous acting job Heath was able to pull off. Every time the camera was on the joker, it rolled around and around in a continuous 360 degree motion which added to the psychoticness of the character. It was Kilmer Kreepy yet very enjoyable.

I won’t go on and spoil the entire film as this is one you will want to see for yourself and trust that it will be over two hours well spent. The movie is lengthy, but the story line moves along quickly and you do not get bored watching it.

They are following along the story line of Batman, The Dark Knight. As it was written, and true Batman fans will know and appreciate what a fabulously wonderful job they did. I was impressed beyond belief; this movie is a keeper. You are filled with a sense of pride and hope when the last scene comes to an end, the way a super hero movie was meant to be. Bravo!!

July 22, 2008

This was going to be the worst day of my life I just knew it! In fact, I was going to do everything in my power to make sure it was. Today was my medication review meeting. I hate my medication. It makes me sleepy and gain weight! I don’t want to be a fat ass. I’m 16 and even though I am towering in at 6 feet and 1 inch, I better damn well be 130 pounds and looking like a skinny crack head or I’m just gonna f******kin’ freak out.

I decided to dress for my meeting. My worker told me it was going to be 30 degrees Celsius out there so I figured a complete black wool outfit would be in order.
I took my time in the bathroom getting ready, because I like to keep the other people in the house waiting. Makes me feel good and like I have some sort of control over them. Wait b*****ch! I’m in here now! *applies more makeup*

My outfit: black work out top with a black netted sweater. My shortest mini-skirt didn’t seem short enough, so I cut it shorter. It barely covered the tip of my coochie but oh well, this way I could keep picking at that area in a “im trying to pull it down” motion. I completed the outfit with 4 inch slutty sandals that lace up to the knee cap. I can barely walk in these shoes, but who cares!
My makeup: Since I have bright blue destroyed dead hair, black makeup with red really looks shocking on me. I applied black eyeliner all around my eyes thickly. I took this bright red lipstick and drew fire flames around my eyes, over my eyebrows and made the flames drip down onto my cheeks. Same lipstick was applied to my lips, and I added a pencil thick black line to out line them. This makes my lips look 4 times their regular size. Add my giant yellow teeth to the smile and its enough to get at the very least a concerned look from any citizen who happens to stare at me. Which we all know they do, because with the way I am dressed; they better damn well be looking at me!!
My jewelry: I put a nice choker like necklace on that has a brass pendant attached. If I was normal, I would have stopped here. Instead, I want attention, and I want people to look at me all shocked like so I added a thick black spiked dog collar, a chain with a #25 lock attached. The lock is kind of heavy and makes my neck sore after I have been wearing it for a while, but no pain no gain right? I put giant plugs in my pierced ears, and put my eyeliner pencil into one of the holes in my ears as well. I thought this was pretty damn cool and knowing my black eyeliner was so close and easily within reach made me feel better too. I put studs and pins and crap to the other eleven holes I have on these floppy assed ears of mine. I stuffed a q-tip into my eyebrow pierce, and put red lipstick on the cotton ball end to make it look like blood. I know everyone who looks at me will think its blood because people are so stupid. There’s no way they’ll know that it is really just lipstick. I plugged up my tongue pierce with over sized stud, and I couldn’t wait to get to the doctors and use my tongue to pop it in and out and in and out in the most annoying way possible. I like to roll my tongue over my lips in a sexual way while looking at the doctor’s crotch. This makes me giggle. I added another spiked dog collar to my thigh. When another girl in the house asked me what the hell that was, I told her straight it was to be able to spike some f******ker in the face who looked at me the wrong way. One swift thigh kick could drive one of these 2 inch spikes into any motherf******ker who got in my way. She laughed at me and, unfortunately for me, my stupid worker was around the corner and heard me say that. Just my luck! She didn’t tell me I had to take the collar off my leg though. All she said was, “you better not be spiking anyone with that collar” Like she has control over what I do *rolls eyes* What an ass.
So I was now ready for my stupid medication review. I kept telling my worker that these pills are making me fat. She tried to say that it was all the chips I was eating from 10 pm until 1 am every night.. what is she stupid? It’s the f******king meds. These people don’t know anything. I b*****ched and whined and complained the entire ride there. That b*****ch of a worker of mine doesn’t let me smoke in her car and so she was going to pay for that by listening to me really lay it on during the ride. She’s so stupid though, she just drives and laughs at me. Gawd I hate when she does that!
She kept asking me how my medication makes me feel and telling me that is what I need to tell the doctor. I kept telling her that Im only going to be requesting diet pills and could she please just stfu already. She laughed again! And said.. yah, im sure the doc is going to be handing those right over to ya. I bet she went and told the doctor not to give me any, because.. that bastard didn’t! He had the nerve to tell me to exercise. Emo’s don’t exercise ffs. I am sitting there, flashing my cootchie at him and batting my eyelashes, I even dropped a few tears and the f******ker still wouldn’t give me anything for weight control. I hate doctors. He told me that I now have to go and see a shrink. WTF? Whatever, I just manipulate all these people anyway – they know crap.

So, when I get back home, hotter than a f******king gypsy in a summer heat fest, all hell breaks loose. The supervisor of my case was at the house when we got there, and she told me to go “take my costume off” (the f******king nerve!) and come to the kitchen for a meeting.

I am so freaken emo’d out at this time, that I need to recouperate my hate to be able to write what happened at this meeting with the supervisor. All I can tell for right now is that WAAAAAAA THIS WORLD f******kING SUCKS

TINAS EGG

Here I am sitting at pc in pyjamas playing a few rounds of pyramids, when I hear my doorbell ring.

I went downstairs, opened the door, there stood a female pikey. She pointed out that the tree growing next to my house was kinda close, ummm yes, I knew that, she offered to cut it down to me and treat the trunk so that it killed the roots, and take out the other overgrown bush next to it for £180. I agreed as I find it very difficult to cut it down a tiny bit every year when it grows over my kitchen window. I told her I dont keep that amount of money in my house, and when was she planning on doing it, she said now. So I got dressed and headed up to Asda’s cashpoint. I took out £200. Headed back home, and they had nearly finished it. There were 2 women pikeys doing the work, no burley men. I offered them a cup of tea, which they accepted.

She then pointed out to me, that the bush that was growing underneath it had a fungi infection, it was all dead wood lol. I said, to her, would you take that out for an extra £20. She answered give me £220 and I will take it out for you. I said, sorry, I only took £200 out of the bank. So she agreed £200 to take out 2 bushes and 1 tree, I think that was a bargain. I am amazed at how much garden I have at the front! I will take a pic in a few mins, and put it in my flickr, take a loook.

The link is http://www.flickr.com/photos/25316427@N00/

So I was thinking about emo’s, Again! Lol. I guess this is almost like a new phenomena for me. We didn’t have emo’s in school when I was growing up. You were either cool or you were a nerd. Plain and simple – life was easy. Now there are gang factions, race factions, emo factions. Sheesh. The list goes on. My thoughts on emo’s this time were around, what would I do if my own daughter landed up being an emo? We’re planning a camping trip for this weekend and my mind wandered over to what this camping trip would be like if my kid was Emo. What extra items would I need to bring, or not bring, if my kid was this depressed, the world sucks emo kid?

The first thing that came to mind was.. trying to figure out a way the emo could “be left behind” and not have to come on the trip at all. Best not to ruin the weekend for the non-emo’s who would be there. Failing that (we all know its pretty difficult to get rid of an emo kid for the weekend, basically, its damn near impossible) we’d have to bring along what we’d need to keep the emo kid out of our hair while we enjoyed the time at the lake.

I thought, first of all, the emo would need its own black dark tent. The tent could come with some white, black and red pastels which would allow the emo some time to draw sad, crying, oh I hate the world pictures on the inside of the tent. No pillow or sleeping bag would be needed, cuz emo’s would rather sleep without, so they can look all sad the next day with their crooked neck and sniffling runny nose which is now not only from bawling all the time, but from a cold that is developing due to sleeping with out a blanket.

A zippo lighter and fuel would be needed, to keep the emo entertained on the boat while the rest of the family water boarded, fished and what not.. The emo could light its zippo and stare meaningfully into the flame for hours. Safety rules say, this can only be done on the boat, in the event the emo catches fire, it could easily be thrown over board and put out.

IT would be important that you don’t let the Emo kid bring along any of its rubber clothing, as it could possible get mistaken for a tire tube and used on the lake in a very non-emo way. Ride the Emo!! Not!

Emo’s need to dull the fake pain they feel so to help with that a party kit would be in order. This would come complete with a texas sized bottle of jack daniels, a bag of marijuana, and possibly some valium (for when the emo has a severe hangover the next day). It’s important not to give the emo any kind of drug that might trigger the dopamine level similar to the way it is triggered by cocaine use. Emo’s cannot handle any sort of self-esteem boast, even the kind falsely induced by a drug like cocaine. Get the emo wasted, give it a stick, a marshmallow, a Barbie to mutilate, and plant it by the campfire. That should detain it for at least a good 36 hours.

You will not have to worry your emo kid will be bugging you to bring along another emo friend. Emo’s can feel more sorry for themselves if they have no friends or no one to talk to so chances are your emo will not be bringing along another emo. Emo’s do not eat much so there is no need to pack any extra food for the emo; they prefer to get by on scraps – as, you guessed it – you can feel sorry for them if they are eating scraps as opposed to eating their own plate of food.

Let your Emo kid bring along any of its weird bottled up stuff, like blood and the piss from animals and what not. Since the emo will be in its own tent, if it gets eaten by a bear or other wild animal due to the scents coming from its tent, well, just nature’s way of taking care of a problem is all. Ya know, screw those forest fire safety rules and let your emo bring along all its scented candles too. If it goes up in flames in its tent, you can just take your time getting to the lake with the buckets of water and no jury in their right mind will fault you for not getting the fire out in time.

And lastly, a must to have if you must bring your emo camping would be an assortment of blades, pins, razors and other sharp objects. If the emo acts up, you can always threaten to take away one of their cutting tools, and since the need for them to cut is so strong, chances are you will be able to keep them in line.

BOBBIES EGG

It’s strongly recommended that you do whatever is necessary to try to get the emo a babysitter for the weekend so you Do Not Have To Take It Camping. However, like I said earlier, seeing as this is near impossible, these handy tips up above might make for a more enjoyable camping trip for the rest of the family.