itsachat Writers Ave

I had a funny evening tonight. Earlier I was chatting and provided this pixel wolfie/debbie/nibletzz a bit of entertainment. It was funny to watch her meltdown. After that I went to the site review program I am a part of and reviewed some websites. There are some really strange sites coming out.

Tonight i passed through a couple of firemen who are blogging their daily events, and not to be outdone by the firemen, sure enough there are the paramedics. The difference I noticed in the blogs were that the paramedics were dramatizing their blogs, while the firemen were sort of reporting on their jobs from a personal perspective. I found that interesting.

I also came across this one site. Gods Blog on homosexuality. This is some kind of site where they are saying that if you pray hard enough, the sin of homosexuality can leave your body and you will be “cured.” lol

There were quite a few mothers blogging their personal lives. I was shocked at this one mother who put up a picture of her two children, naked in the bathtub and said that was the xmas photo. Marketing to sexual predators? I dunno. I wrote her a comment to say she was sick.

Which reminds me of this other site.. this one was an anti-sexual predators website for parents. I thought, oh well this is interesting, and went in to take a look around. There were no lists of known predators (which I found strange) and there were lists of what to look for. Basically cluing all sexual predators into what signs they should “not” be showing.I couldn’t help but get the feeling similar to that of CSI – where they are basically educating criminals by showing them all their forensic practices.

The funniest one? Russian Brides for sale. Okay. Can they sell brides on line? These peeps are advertising 70-120 new Russian profiles going up each day. Dudes are going there and picking them out – and then 40 profiles a day come off the site, because those Russians were *chosen* Chosen for what? What is happening to these woman? I was shocked and the whole site is in Russian,so who knows what it is really saying.
My favorite site I visited was the duct tape site. This was a site about everything duct tape. IT was so cute. Lists what you can do with ductape. there is a photo gallery of duct tape pictures. there is a duct tape forum where you can discuss the issues surrounding duct tape lol. My fav.site of the night.

All across the 30 sites I reviewed, not one had a nicer presentation than itsa. You are so awesome Froggy!! I was happy to get back home.

Here is an example of one of the many uses of ductape

I am the Frog King. Recently I traveled very far to get back home. I flew 5000 miles or more. This is how that went. On the day of my departure, I was placed into a box with a clear lid. A coffin? I thought naught. My long silver pewter body was nestled tightly into this box, and I was strapped down with elastics! It was then that I knew I would be traveling far.

The misses Learleygal waved goodbye and covered me up. I yearned to be with a book, any book but I knew I would have to wait. Would I be traveling alone? I thought to myself. Just then I saw my fellow travelers. I was quite happy to see them. They also had been wrapped and covered, but now that we were in our traveling time machine, the packaging was able to come off.

There was Miss Nelly the purple butterfly with her orange husband Ned and their two children; pinky and greeny. They were enjoying a spot of tea with a frog family. Surely they were related I reckoned, as they all were made from the same material..the frogs and the butterflies that is. There were 5 frogs. A small yellow tree frog, although he did have an attitude (what frog doesn’t?). The tree frog had a purple girlfriend, and they were joined by a red and blue bull frog. The last frog was a green frog..and being the poison dart frog –he sat over to the side a little. I smiled at him. I was the Frog King after all.

With a twinkle in my eye, I touched my frog hand to the tip of my gold crown in a friendly gesture, and the little sucker stuck his tongue out at me! Kids I chuckled and continued my inventory of my traveling acquaintances.

ON the table where the frogs and butterflies sat, I could see two packages of ciggies. Reds from America and a UK pack. Both had warnings of imminent death and destruction on them but there were no gory pictures of sickly babies, burnt out brains, and blackened hearts and lungs. I was grateful. As quick as I seen those ciggies, I hopped over to the table and took a seat, grabbed a package and opened them up.

Miss Nelly then offered me some tea, and that is when I saw the Italian coffee. “MMMM” I said, “I would like some of that coffee instead please.” Miss Nelly prepared some for me, and when she gave me my mug, she had put a lovely gold beaded charm on the handle and said that it would help me to identify which mug was mine. My charm had a tiny clear crystal tree on it. When I looked around, I saw that the other mugs also had charms. They were a present, a star, a snow bear and an angel, as well as another xmas tree, although it was a tiny bit bigger than mine. The poison dart frog was using that one.

As I sat drinking my coffee and smoking a marlboro, it was then that I saw the most beautiful silver butterfly. She was attached to a silver ring,that was attached to a chain on her head. I immediately fell in love. I went to her, and it was then and there I proclaimed my everlasting love and swore never to be with out her. She was fine with that and seemed happy enough. She gave me a card and I opened and read it. It was lovely xmas greetings from the Learleygal, and my new butterfly love asked if I would take care of the card always. I agreed with out hesitation. Now that I was snuggled up with my beautiful butterfly and enjoying the time travel, sure enough here comes the cow.

The cow was the cleaner and although an important piece of the group, she was nosy and always wanting to rub herself all over everything. Dust bunny we called her for short. Butterfly convinced cow to get back into her clear plastic traveling case and we were not bothered by her again. I was very grateful to have cow with me when I got to my destination, as when I did, I realized how much I really needed her! As a matter of fact, there were 6 screens that needed the cow. She felt so honored.

On the night that we were to land, I decided to have a special dinner with my butterfly and presented her with the most awesome pewter case with vanilla scented candle held with in. A butterfly with gemstones covered the lid to the case, and my butterfly absolutely beamed with delight when she seen it. She swore she would treasure this piece forever and I believe her. She really did act extremely excited and just kept smelling and looking at it, smiling and grinning at me with how happy this device made her. Must have been a long lost relative embedded on that lid (I thought to myself lol)As we prepared to land, it got a bit chilly, so I put warm toesies on myself (with frogs on the feet) and on my butterfly (hers had dragonflies on them) our toesies were warm when we landed on the mouse pad. I chuckled when I seen that the mouse pad was also full of butterflies. I was so happy. It wasn’t to very long after that when we all arrived safely home.

Coming out of the package was the most fun. We were all wrapped up again (had to be for the landing) and when we arrived home, they put us under some giant decorated forest. There we stayed for a few more days until the morning they released us all. Now we are living comfortably. My butterfly and I, with all our traveling companions are finally home – thanks to the Misses!!!

Well, Squeak is all packed eventually and getting really pissy as her small scratching post has gone, her favourite toys are no longer on the floor, her play tunnel has disappeared along with her bed, and I wont let her out again!

‘Twas the night before ITsa, when all through the net
Not a lounge lizard was slurring, we didn’t have any of those yet;

The tutorials were being made, and positioned with care,
In hopes that crowds of people, would soon see them there;

The members were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of circuit boards danced in their heads;

And Lanny in her ‘nitey, and I in my shorts,
Had just settled down for some boxspring sports,

When out from the server there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the office I flew like a flash,
Stopped by the kitchen to grab a bit of hash.

The moon hit the counter, like fresh fallen snow
It was then I heard screaming coming from the server, OH NO!

When, I got to the office, I couldn’t believe what I saw
But a twisted old elf – with red hair and half a jaw,

With a hunched back and gimp, and broken jaw not set,
I knew in a moment it must be Qryket!

He screamed for his minions, but nothing came,
I guess he forgot, he was all those names!!

Standing there helpless, he looked around shaking
I couldn’t be sure, but I thought he was faking

I took a step forward, and he cringed and cried
Holding his gold paper crown he cried “I tried!”

I opened the window, it was time for this thing to fly,
I grabbed him by his scrawny neck, he was slimy like goo,

I threw him out the window, and with a gust of wind they flew,
the wind took that gold paper crown, and it took Qryket too!

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The grunting and clawing, it sounded like that goof

As I drew down the window, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Qryket came with a bound.

He was dressed in a gown, the hem reaching his foot,
And his dress was all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of wires he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes — how they raged! his half-jaw just dangling!
His cheeks were all hollow, his nose – it was hangling!

His drool on his mouth, was puddling on the edge,
And the beard of his chin was trimmed like a hedge;

The stump of a leg, that held up his withered frame,
was gnawed on like a bone, he chewed it, how lame;

He had an ogre face and a huge round belly,
That shook, when he snarled like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a mean nasty old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A tear in his eye and the hanging of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, and went straight to his work,
Pleading for forgiveness with his eyes, he begged and he jerked

And laying his finger inside of his nose,
He crumpled up his crown, and up the chimney he rose;

He jumped from the roof, with arms spread wide
He hit the pavement hard, I guess he thought he would glide.

I heard myself exclaim, as he landed with a Splat,
“Merry Christmas to All!, We got rid of That!.”

I am happy to say, I finished work today at 3.15pm, generous boss I have, I must say, letting me finish 45 mins earlier than usual on a Friday!

This morning he gave me a bottle of red wine (I had never heard of the label or wine before) so that will be something different to try, a wine bottle with a screw top, its gotta be cheap. I also had my ££’s christmas bonus, which I will be putting towards home improvements I am planning on doing in the new year (2 double glazed windows plus new front door).

On Wednesday, we had our yearly christmas raffle, basically all the prizes are from suppliers that have given gifts for the festive season to some of the employees that they have contact with, it is company policy that any presents that have been given must be put into the raffle, and not to be taken home, then on an afternoon, raffle tickets are attached to them, a box is filled with all the names of employees that are in that day, then when your name is pulled out of the box, you then pull out a raffle ticket, and whatever is under that number, thats the present you get. This year, I didnt get a stinky calendar, yay for me, I got a bottle of chateaux neuf de papa and a stupid cassette. I was very happy with the wine.

This morning at work, we had a very sad call, letting us know that the guy that was in charge of Marketing had died yesterday in hospital. I will miss this guy a great deal. He was diagnosed at the end of September with Pancreatic Cancer, went in for an operation at the beginning of last week, came home a week ago, took a turn for the worse yesterday, but the hospital staff could not save him, and he passed away yesterday afternoon. His family, are not going to enjoy christmas this year and I cant help but keep thinking about him, he always had a smile on his face.

This evening, I am meeting up with 4 friends that I havent seen since the beginning of September, basically, we are meeting up for a natter and drinking session. I decided yesterday, that for a change tonight I will drink red wine, so on the way home from work yesterday I bought 4 bottles of Merlot. Hopefully, I wont finish it all, and wont have a hangover from hell tomorrow! and if I do, it had better have gone by the time I go to do my bar work tomorrow evening.

I thought I would write about my day today, and my attempt to cook this giant turkey. Cooking a bird cannot be that difficult, can it? I’ve seen my mom and sisters do it many times. I am wise enough to have bought just add water type stuffing. So I figured I knew what I was doing. I bought the turkey on sale for a great deal and a savings of $26.00 (which is why I grabbed it in the first place. I don’t usually cook whole turkeys!) He was frozen, and we named him Tony. He was 7.1 kilograms. That is 15 lbs and a little bit. When we got him home, I put him on the counter to thaw out. Shortly thereafter, I read the tag on him, and it said he should be thawed in the fridge, so into the fridge he went. Two days later he was thawed (that would be today).

I knew it was going to take a long time to cook, so I decided to put him in the oven when I woke up. Froggy was still sleeping. I took Tony out of the fridge and cut off his butterball wrapper. Yep, he was all thawed out. Good. I then grabbed a bowl and the stuffing box and read the directions. ¼ of butter, 1 and 2/3 water and both packages of crumbs for my size bird. I put the butter in the bowl and added the crumbs. I tried to mix that up with a spoon, but the butter was chunky (as it had just come out of the fridge) so I decided I should add the water. I did that, and the butter was still chunking. I read the box again, and that’s when I saw that the butter was supposed to have been melted. Damn! Oh well, it was too late. I thought maybe I could nuke it, but decided against that. I wished Froggy was up. I went with just trying to cut the butter into the mixture, but landed up squishing the already pretty small nuggets of breadcrumbs and now the stuffing was kind of mushy. Even though I didn’t add more water! *sighs* The stuffing box said cook the turkey at 300 F, so I preheated the oven.

Back to Tony. They had the skin from his back wrapped around to hold his two legs together, and I had a bit of a time trying to get that unhinged. Once I did, his legs flew open, and I ran some water on him to wash him up. He had a bag of stuff inside and I pulled that out. I put him on the table and proceeded to stuff him. I was using a spoon and it was taking forever, so I washed my hands again, and just dug into the stuffing and used my hands to stuff Tony. There was enough stuffing left over that I could stuff his arse as well, and I did. LOL

Once he was stuffed, I picked Tony up carefully and put him in the roaster. He was pretty big, and barely fit in it. When I put the lid on, it wouldn’t close and left about a 4 inch gap between lid and roaster. I knew Tony needed to be cooked covered, so I covered him up with tinfoil instead. The oven had beeped *preheated* so I put Tony in.

I then went to the sink to clean up and when I saw the bag of gizzards in there, I realized at that moment there was no neck. I had forgotten the neck inside Tony! Do I leave it in there? Do I dig it out? Ugh,, Should I wake up Frog? I wasn’t about to be eating any turkey neck, so I decided that it had to come out. I pulled Tony from the oven, tore off his tinfoil and unwrapped that skin thing that was holding his legs closed. He had only been in the oven mere moments, I felt to make sure he wasn’t hot (as I Always seem to burn myself when I am cooking) and he wasn’t hot, so I stuck my hand in there and felt around for the neck. It wasn’t there! It landed up the neck was stuffed in his arse, and that’s why it didn’t come out with the gizzard bag. Another lesson I learned today. I got the neck out, tossed it in the trash with the gizzards, re-covered Tony with the tinfoil and put him back in the oven. I put the timer on for 4 hours, as I figured that was going to be long enough. I was going to ask Froggy the right time when he woke up.

Once I had finished cleaning the kitchen I went for a game of lit. I told blue what had happened. She told me that the tinfoil shouldn’t be touching the bird’s back, so off I went to haul Tony out of the oven again. I took the tinfoil off and built a toothpick tent thing so that the tinfoil no longer touched him. It’s a good thing Blue told me about that because the tinfoil was already starting to stick on him. After I had put him back in the oven for the 3rd time! I saw that box of stuffing again. I checked it to make sure I got the oven temp right, and that’s when I saw that I Was supposed to add onions and celery to the stuffing. Ugh. I just didn’t want to have to take it out again, so I figured, whatever, and just threw the box out. The temp did say 300.

I tried to double check with Blue about the time and temp, but I didn’t get an answer so I checked with Martha stewart. She said with my size bird it would need 6 hours, so I added another 2 hours on the timer. I started basting him every hour after the first hour, and the toothpick tent held up.

I had trouble with the first basting attempt. IT seems the baster wasn’t working probably. This is exactly why I don’t like to cook. Nothing seems to work right for me. The thing wasn’t sucking anything up. Froggy was now awake and he came to my rescue (once again). He adjusted the rubber end on the baster, and now it sucked things up. I kept basting until the timer went off. The bird looked all golden brown and nicely done I was happy.

I asked frog to pick it up out of the roaster and put it on the giant plate to carve it up, and then I would make gravy. When froggy went to lift it, the turkey crumbled! IT just fell apart. His legs slid off and then, the bones from his legs tenderly slid out. I laughed. Tony’s cavity then fell out the bottom of him. He was cooked so well, you could have blown the meat off his bones! Lmaooooooooo.

Anyway. Froggy told me that it was good. He’s so sweet. He never mentioned anything about the stuffing, and he’s been eating turkey all night long. *smiles* After dinner, I spent a good part of my evening wrapping presents. When I would finish wrapping one, I would walk over to where he is at his desk and show him before I put it under the tree. With the 3rd present I showed him he said, ‘Wow,, I wish you could cook as well as you wrap presents!” Hehehehe. Frog said he’d be cooking the next turkey! Yayyyyyy