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: [pic] morning joke....................

'You never surprise me!' a woman moaned one day to her long-suffering husband.

'Buy me a surprise for my birthday. Something that can accelerate from 0 to 180 in under 4 seconds, ......and I would prefer it in blue,' she hinted.

Happy and excited, she was counting down the days to her birthday.

Finally, she got the beautiful present her husband had thoughtfully chosen for her.

He's dead now, but to his friends, he died a legend.

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: A few chuckles..................

Nineteen Newfoundlander go to the cinema. The ticket lady asks 'Why so many of you?' Buddy replies,'The film said 18 or over.'

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday. So I went to our local pet shop and they were $70. Forget it, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.

I was at an A.T.M. yesterday. A little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Statistically, six out of seven dwarfs are not Happy.

My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 am. Can you believe that! 2:30 am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.

The wife was counting all the nickels and dimes out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself, 'She's going through the change.'

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet

An East Indian fellow has moved in next door. He has traveled the world, has swum with sharks, has wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain. It came as no surprise to learn his name was Bindair Dundat.

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: [pic] morning laugh............................................

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