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95
kenny01: sexual harassment..............

A male employee walks up very close to a female co-worker at the coffee machine.

He stops, inhales quite deeply and says that her hair smells nice.



After a week of this, the woman can't stand it anymore.

She takes her issue to a supervisor in Human Resources and asks to

file a Sexual Harassment grievance against the guy.



The supervisor is puzzled and asks,

'What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?'



'It's Frank - The Midget.'
95
kenny01: The Stud
Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, 'I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer's down. You will have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests. What'll it be?'

The first priest says, 'I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains .'
'So be it,' says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.
The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, 'Will any of this week 'count' St. Peter?'
'No, I told you the computer's down, There's no way we can keep track of what you are doing.'
In that case' says the second priest, I've always wanted to be a stud.
'So be it' says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.
A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. 'Will you have any trouble locating them? he asks.'

'The first one should be easy,' says St. Peter, 'He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult.'

'Why?' asks the Lord.
'He's on a snow tire, somewhere in Saskatchewan.'
95
kenny01: investment planning.........................................Dan was a single guy living at home with his father, and working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died,
he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.
One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away.
'I may look like an ordinary guy,' he said to her, 'but in just a few years,
my father will die and I will inherit $200 million.'
Impressed, the woman asked for his business card.
Three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
95
kenny01: canada always ready to help....................................Press release. The Prime Minister of Canada, Justin Trudeau, met with
the President of the United States and strongly supported the war on terrorism.
Prime Minister Trudeau issued the following statement:

CANADIANS WILL HELP AMERICA WITH THE WAR ON TERRORISM. WE HAVE
PLEDGED 2 WARSHIPS, 600 GROUND TROOPS, AND 6 FIGHTER JETS. AFTER THE
AMERICAN EXCHANGE RATE, THEY WILL END UP WITH 2 CANOES, 6 MOUNTIES,
AND A BUNCH OF FLYING SQUIRRELS.
132
frogz: The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you're inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.
95
kenny01: [pic] As we slowly move
through (or into) retirement, we
need to keep
ourselves occupied with small projects.
Much like this
guy....



I know, I saw it
right away too.... No safety glasses or hearing
protection.

And I caught
something else that is really
important: He has no gloves
on.



I might be up in
age but I'm still sharp as a
tack...!
95
kenny01: With the Holidays upon us, I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving.
As you may know, some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a social session out with friends.

Well, two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed by some rather nice red wine. Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit.

That's when I did something that I've never done before - I took a Bus home.

Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block, but since it was a bus they waved it past.
I arrived home safely without incident.

This was a real surprise as I had never driven a bus before; I don't know where I got it and
Now that it's in my parking spot I don't know what to do with it.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS & MERRY CHRISTMAS
95
kenny01: Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, 'Notice anything different about me?'

Margaret looked him over. 'Nope.'

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, 'Notice anything different NOW?'

Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, 'Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow.'

Furious, Bert yelled, 'AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?'

'Nope. Not a clue', she replied.

'IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!'

Without missing a beat Margaret replied, 'Shoulda bought a hat, Bert.
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