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95
kenny01: pancakes..............................Peewee's mother and father took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis. After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared,'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.'The next morning when Peewee arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.'Gee, Mom,' he exclaimed,'for me?' Just take two,'his mother replied. 'The rest are for your father'
95
kenny01: six reasons.....................









Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak.
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly: 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?' I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said:
'I think I like playing with men's balls'

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied: 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.' My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished. To my horror; she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening:
'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'
The silence was deafening after this enlightening
exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked
out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were
screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco; I smelled something funny, so of
course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go,
and he said 'No'.. I kept thinking: 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.' Then I said:'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?' 'No:' he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo; I asked one more time: 'Danny did you have an accident?'This time he jumped up; yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and satdown.
An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the
best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will;in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that; the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you
promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew
did too they were laughing so hard!

Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh and remember
we all say things we don't really mean,
so think before you speak!!!





















95
kenny01: the dart team.................................A Scottish couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger.
She asked if she could have a bath, but the woman of the house told her they didnt have a bath, although if she wanted to, she could use a tin bath in front of the fire.
Mondays the best night, when my husband goes out to darts, she said.
The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday.
After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed.
She was surprised to see that the lass didnt have any pubic hair.
She mentioned this to her husband when he came home.
He didnt believe her, so she said: Next Monday, when you go to darts, leave a little early and wait in the back garden.
ill leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself.
So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked: Do you shave?9No, replied the girl. ive just never grown any hair down there. Do you have hair?*Oh, yes, said the woman, and she pulled up her nightdress and showed the girl that she was really generously endowed in the hair department.
The girl finished her bath and went to bed.
Later that night, when the husband came in, the wife asked him,*Did you see it? Yes, he said, but why the hell did you have to show her yours.*Why ever are you worried about that? she said. Youve seen it often enough 
The husband replied  Maybe so but the guys in the darts team havent 
more..