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kenny01: morning laugh.........................A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking lad in his mid-twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age. The circus owner tells them, 'I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you guys better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment: chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?' The girl says, 'I'll go first.' She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, kisses them and rests his head at her feet. The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He says, 'I've never seen a display like that in my life.' He then turns to the young man and asks, 'Can you top that?' The young man replies. 'No problem, just get that lion out of the way.'
kenny01: morning laugh..............................A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says 'I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa'. Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says 'Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500'. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question 'What's the distance from the earth to the moon?' The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5 bill, and hands it to the lawyer. 'Okay' says the lawyer 'your turn'. She asks 'What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?' The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his smartphone, connects to the inflight wi-fi and searches Google, Wikipedia and more ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends emails his friends and co-workers, tweets and posts it on Facebook to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the blonde and asks 'Well... what's the answer?' Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
kenny01: a loving husband...................... ..Thinking back a few years, living in Fla. , I remember Hurricane Matthew. I was ready for it but my wife was not.When the wind reached a screaming pitch with the trees snapping and threshing, the horizontal streaming rain, flying roofing iron and destroyed fences as well as the unnerving sound-levels, my wife was rooted to the spot. She stared and stared through the glass of the window. Immovable,with her nose pressed to the windowpane, the stark fear in her eyes will stay with me forever. Fortunately, as the eye of the storm arrived and the winds temporarily lessened, I was able to open the door and let her in.