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itsachat was established in July 2007. There has/is always a mod present to answer all questions.

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kenny01: [pic] Dedicated to all my senior friends,
You have to be over 50 to truly understand it... and to those that aren't there yet, this is a warning!
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lanfearinc: Has Updated their Status Message
Good Morning Itsa! It snowed again so im staying in and working on me and christies CAL!! wooot -lanfearinc
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lanfearinc: I made it back in less than an hour!!! I think that is a record for me. There was No LINE UP at the bank so I even used the teller!! Christie.. Where are you!!!!
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95
kenny01: A wise person once said..
1. We all love to spend money buying new clothes, but we never realize that
the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.
2. Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a
hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS.
3. Breaking News: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of
mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband.
4. Arguing over a girl's bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken,
Carlsberg, & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but
will grab whatever is available.
5 A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than
the men who mention it.
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317
fem420fan: My eyes got a little watery when fox said itsa is still around. Out of all the ppl ive met online you guys are the ones that hold a special place in my little itty bitty teeny weeny heart and Ill always remember you. Until i get dimentia... Gobs of love for all of you
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lanfearinc: Has Updated their Status Message
its cold enough outside to freeze your balls.... of ice hahahaha -lanfearinc
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95
kenny01:
A lonely widow, age 75, decided that it was time to get married again.
She put an ad in the local paper that read:
HUSBAND WANTED:
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.
On the second day, she heard the doorbell.
Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a Grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair.
He had no arms or legs.
The old woman said, 'You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?
Just look at you...you have no legs!
The old man smiled, 'Therefore, I cannot run around on you!'
She snorted. 'You don't have any arms either!'
Again, the old man smiled, 'Therefore, I can never beat you!'
She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, 'Are you still good in bed???'
The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said,
​ ​
'Rang the doorbell didn't I?'
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95
kenny01:
A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.
Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, ' Steve’s Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.
It seemed a little strange. When the bus-boy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.
Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'
'Well,' he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.
If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.' I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.
Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'
'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.
By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.
I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'
'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'
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lanfearinc: Has Updated their Status Message
Good morning Christie!!!!! and furry loved ones.. morn' to you little brats too! -lanfearinc
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95
kenny01:
A hunter and his friend were sitting in a tall tower stand along Highway 11-17 near Thunder Bay, Ontario early one cold December morning. Suddenly, a huge buck walked out over the corn they had spread in the low shrubs The buck was magnificent..... a once in a lifetime animal. His rack was huge. The hunter's hand shook as his mind was already counting the Boone and Crockett points.
Moving quickly, the hunter carefully aimed the Leopold scope on his .300 Win Mag at the unsuspecting buck.
As he was about to squeeze the trigger on this deer of a lifetime, his friend alerted him to a funeral procession passing slowly down Highway 11-17. The hunter pulled away from the gun stock, set the rifle down, took off his hat, bowed his head and then closed his eyes in prayer. His friend was stunned.
'Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen you do. You actually let that trophy deer go to pay respects to a passing funeral procession. You are indeed the kindest man I have ever known, and I feel lucky to call you a friend.' The hunter shrugged. 'Yeah, well, we were married for 41 years!'
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95
kenny01: [pic]
It's that time of year again......
Revenue Canada Free Gift
The Canada Revenue Agency has announced
that it will give a free pencil sharpener
to all taxpayers who pay their taxes on time next year.
It can be placed on your desk as a constant reminder
of the service they provide to you each year.
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lanfearinc: Has Updated their Status Message
Good luck Mr. Gorsky! hahah good one kenny -lanfearinc
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