lanfearinc: we better hurry up and chat soon because I realize there is so much to tell you!! you didtn even know my trucks fixed. pretty soon i'll forget whats been happening and you'll have missed out on all the funny stories!! lol j/k there's nothing too funny going on lol have a good afternoon!! say hi to your magical forest to me, feed a bird, pet a cat and kick a dog :) hahah joking about the kick a dog part.. sorta.. kick one accidentally when its making you doorman for it :P hahahah
kenny01: A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the Third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their Situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke. 'Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim.' 'I know, Father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive More than a day or two..' 'I agree,' says the Father. 'Sister, since we are unlikely to make it Out of here alive, would you do something for me?' 'Anything, Father.' 'I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see Yours.' 'Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm.' The Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her Shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty. 'Sister, would you mind if I touched them?'.......she consented and he Fondled them for several minutes. 'Father, could I ask something of you?' 'Yes, Sister?' 'I have never seen a man's appendage. Could I see yours?' 'I suppose that would be OK,' the Priest replied lifting his robe. 'Oh Father, may I touch it?' The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was Sporting a huge erection. 'Sister, you know that if I insert my appendage in the right place, it can Give Life.' 'Is that true Father?' 'Yes, it is, Sister.' 'Oh Father, that's wonderful ... Stick it in the camel and let's get The hell out of here!'
lanfearinc: Another day of yard work! it looks like its going to be nice and hopefully less windy than yesterday. Nothing like raking up a pile of leaves, that get re-blown all over the yard again by the time you get back with the bag ugh. Back to work tonight *sadness*
kenny01: If you can start the day without caffeine, If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it, If you can understand when your loved ones Are too busy to give you any time, If you can take criticism and blame without resentment, If you can conquer tension without medical help, If you can relax without alcohol, If you can sleep without the aid of drugs.................. Then You Are Probably The Family Dog! Handle every Stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with it, Piss on it and walk away
kenny01: Leaving Work Early Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they watched the boss leave work early. One day, the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early? The brunette was thrilled to be home early...she did a little gardening, spent playtime with her son, and went to bed early. The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date. The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her boss! Gently she closed the door and crept out of the house. The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave early again, and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them. No way! The blonde exclaimed. 'I almost got caught yesterday!'
kenny01: John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife !' That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night ! He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the best toast of The night.' She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?' John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside Me wife.' 'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!'Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other Night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.' She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's Only been in there twice in the last four years. 'Once I had to pull him by The ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep'.
kenny01: A wise person once said.. 1. We all love to spend money buying new clothes, but we never realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes. 2. Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS. 3. Breaking News: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband. 4. Arguing over a girl's bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Carlsberg, & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available. 5 A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.